MY FIRST LOVE

"Could you do a write-up about love?" Saleem asked. At first, I hesitated but later I cunningly asked him "Why not anything else?And why me? Be honest. I'm going to do the write-up anyway... I just need inspiration."

He replied saying "I have heard you speak about issues with regards your love, and also I saw your actions towards  'You-know-who' and I believe if they could be written down and also the lessons you learnt from the relationship, as well as your condition now, it will inspire your readers a lot."

I blushed, shook my head and now I'm here, where do I even start?

As we all know, it is unwise to wash one's dirty pants in public. Hence, forgive me for any lacuna about my love life. Though I'm ever willing to share lessons I learnt  in my relationship.

So, we dated for about five years. She was my first love. She was everything I wanted in a woman and more. Her beauty was a sight to behold and those who knew her will attest to this fact. When she  smiles, her diastema pierced my heart and made it beat faster. She was just on fleek. All through our relationship she made me feel loved even now that we are no more together. And I loved her to the core. Blimey! We really had something going on.

There were times I'll look at her and everything will suddenly be perfect, I've never for once thought we would break-up. We did anyway. A lot of crazy things happened but all in all it was her love that changed me. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and only few have seen. I'm glad I was loved by her for I've learnt so much. Among the lessons were:

Be faithful.
Be patient.
Be understanding.
And NEVER LIE.

With my love, faithfulness was one thing I hold to above any other virtue. For that long, she was the only one in my life. I wasn't perfect but I always strived for the best. There were times I tried to let go because she was not faithful to me but all my rebound quests were unsuccessful. There were moments I shed tears knowing that my girlfriend wasn't faithful.
I'm here, not to talk about her flaws but only to share a few experiences hoping people may learn from it. I kept to my faith eventually, I stayed true to her and her alone. And I tell you ... what? It was worth it.

Faithfulness could not be complete without patience. Being faithful comes with a price because you will meet people who may seem better than your partner. They may display extaordinary levels of character or behavioural expectations you hope to see in your partner that are absent. Just remember, not all that glitters is gold. When ever my patience with 'bae' is tested, I always told myself - 'the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.' The fact is, the grass will always seem greener on the other side but you just have to be patient. I was patient for long, I was so much in love with her that I had a blind spot when it came to her faults.

Then comes understanding.
Yes, I was faithful and yes, I was patient. But unfortunately understanding was hell for me. It took me a whole lot of reading and meditation to get there. I will lament and brood tirelessly to myself. Why this? Why that? How so?... Fortunately, I had to resort to the key to all doors; prayer. And in time, it came to me. Understanding and tolerance are intertwined, for tolerance only comes after understanding.

Talk about never tell lies...huh!
Lies are by far the main malignant impairer of relationships of any kind.
No one tells just one lie, lying hurts the ones you care about the most, lies can destroy your life without you even knowing it. Lies breaks trust and without trust, there’s no relationship. Lies and it's repercussions. It will entangle you and put you in a tough spot. It's the cause of a lot of psychotic mental break down after broken relationships. When you lie, you will think you've dealt with the situation but you just made it worse. And before it dawns up on you you've made a horrid mistake, it will be too late and you might have made a great loss. Not to mention the effects of cognitive dissonance.  Always remember - veritas liberat - the truth shall set you free.

At this point, I hoped not to be self-centred putting this piece together so my inner voice impelled me to ask a few friends about their view of love.

Malleeha thinks love is simple and a complicated feeling not only for lovers but friends, family and relatives alike. She further said "...a wise man once told me, when you like a flower - you pluck it but when you love a flower - you nuture it and make it grow..."

Nicholas as sassy as always said love is a word. After some time, he said "Love is not found... Love is built... So, when you ask me about love... I will tell you it's just a word used to decieve homornes. You know words don't have fixed, true and understandable meaning. It gets its true meaning when used in a context."

Fayad thinks love is a way of life; an affection for someone based on something may be beauty, religion, character, intelligence or something unique.

Sahada just said three words care, security and protection.

Al Kauthar ( the Rãbi`atu Ădawiyya of our time ) shared her thoughts too. She believes love is associated with the heart, togetherness, peace, humanity and solace.

Nasira personally thinks that the word 'love' can not be given an exact definition. It is highly subjective and the phrase 'I feel so loved' when used by people varies from person to person. Love isn't just a feeling but a total culture and being in love and loved is the greatest thing ever.

It is something special indeed.

Well, they could not have said it better. I think love makes us who we are. It isn't just about calling each other everyday to say naughty stuffs you may or may not remember after the call. It's also not about getting laid or having sex even though it's an integral part of it to an extent (And I'm in no way encouraging pre-marital sex. It is immoral and religiously unacceptable).

Love is way much more. It's hard to put it into words. It is timeless and leaves you mindless. When you are in love, your soul is awake.

Rãbi`atu Ădawiyya said “I love You, Allah, with two loves; love  because of the passion and love because You deserve to be loved” that is my condition now. I have evolved and - I have become naughted to self and exist only through Him. I belong wholly to Him. I live in the shadow of His control.

Finally, I must say - never date unless you're completely ready for marriage. And when you do marry, remember it's for better or for worse. I'm not saying this to be hypocritical. I'm only saying the bitter truth which you and I may find it hard to swallow.

Most of us today's youth, are not patient. We let greed swallow us to the core. We prefer materialism to idealism.

Let love inform you. Learn what it means to love and be loved before loving another. The mystics are the greatest of teachers when it comes to love.

I am Rasgony TheAlpha